Why I've taken a long break from blogging and vlogging...

So, I started my blog and vlog with aplomb a good few year's back.
And I enjoyed it, I really did. But then I started getting busy with work things and that's when life decided to bite me hard on the backside.
Looking at the timescale between 2012 and 2017, a few things happened that knocked the wind out of my sails.
Not wanting to go into too much detail, over that time period I lost my mum to vascular dementia, my dad had a severe stroke, the house was in the middle of a renovation and I had a baby. Trying to deal with all these things emotionally, mentally and physically was a full-time job and I am not going to lie, took its toll.
However, I am one of those people who is a creative, tech person, and not finding anything that fed that passion, I decided to have a cheeky look at my YouTube account in September of last year.
I logged in to my account to find I had 5,500 views, not only was I really shocked, but pleased, as I thought that once I get to the magic 10,000 views I would get monetisation (Not anymore after the Logan scandal). My YouTube account notifications had been turned off so I wasn't receiving information about comments (I am sorry to some people whom I have only just responded to!).
And then I looked at this blog and realised that I also really miss writing. I did manage (I don't know how!) to self-publish my first children's book in 2016, I am currently working on my mums memoirs about her childhood in WW2 (more about that later) and also my novel, plus another children's book.
Sometimes, even with the best intentions, life gets in the way, but I'm pleased to say I'm back!

When You Become a Parent to Your Parent

"The son becomes the father and the father becomes the son."

How apt that was whilst thinking about this particular blog, I should hear this saying whilst watching a popular television show. No truer words spoken.

As I have got older, I have found myself in the hard situation of becoming essentially the protector of of both my parents. My dearest late mother succumbed to vascular dementia and lost her battle with it after five and half years last year. As her mind slowly shut down, she became childlike and vulnerable. I found that instead of her holding my hand, I was holding hers.

My father, always strong and there for his family, had a severe stroke in 2015 at only 67 years old. Once very mentally and physically active, he is now bedbound and has lost all independence, as well as minimal speech which makes communication difficult for him. Whilst he was worried I'd trip whilst I learned to walk as a toddler, now I'm worried he'll fall. I'm the one anxious about literal and metophorical obstacles for him - not the other way around like it used to be.

So now I find myself the parent to my parent... a role that neither of us wanted or had foreseen. I worry continuously about his health and happiness whilst at the same time trying to protect him.

I am lucky and blessed that my parents provided a secure and happy childhood. But as we are now all living longer, this reversed role play will probably become more common.